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I can't fight this feeling

TITLE: I can’t fight this feeling
PARING: Callie/Erica, who else?
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
RATING: I have no idea, R?
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately they are not mine.  If they were, they would have been together since long and without the drama that I’m sure is waiting for them in Season 5.
SUMMARY: Dr. Erica Hahn ponders her feelings for her best friend Dr. Callie Torres while she listens to a song.  It takes place before, after and between the elevator-kiss and the parking lot kiss.  I hpe the chronology of the events is ok.
FEEDBACK: Yes please :-)
COMMENT: I heard this song and thought the lyrics fit perfectly for Callie and Erica.  I remember when I was falling in love with my best friend (who will become my wife next week), I listened to this song a lot, as it explained how I was feeling.  The song is from Reo Speedwagon and is called “I can’t fight this feeling”.  They wrote those lyrics, not me.

 

When Callie had told Erica that Addison suspected them to be lovers, she had laughed it off as a joke. Because frankly, it was the only way she knew how to react without freaking Callie out.  It was freaking Callie out as she had been avoiding Erica since the last week.  So she had laughed it off, while inside she was crying.

 
I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

But then the threesome talks had started and Erica was drawn into it.  When she laid her head on Callie’s shoulder in the cafeteria, she had never felt such joy.  She heard Callie’s breath hitch for a second. Hope fled through her. Could it be possible that she felt the same?

 
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.
I said there is no reason for my fear.
Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction,
You make everything so clear.


They were standing in the elevator.  You could cut through the sexual tension. The threesome talk had wounded Erica up.  It was all she could think about, though she didn’t think about Mark Sloan.  No, when thinking about it, it was just her and Callie and lots of kissing…

 
And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.


Mark Sloan entered the elevator and Callie started talking about the threesome again.  Erica felt her resolve melting and before she knew it, her lips were touching Callie’s. She marvelled at the softness of those lips.  Just as quick as the kiss had been, she had fled the elevator.

 
And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Then the “really big trauma” had been brought in and they had to work closely together on Cement Boy.  Each touch was heaven and hell.  She had no idea how Callie felt after the kiss.  She could have slapped herself for her slip of control.  Dr. Erica Hahn never lost control, but when she was around Erica that’s all she wanted to do, lose control.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

She was searching for her keys when she heard Callie approaching her. She continued looking for them. Somehow ignoring Callie was easier then facing the disappointment she was sure would come.  But when she heard Callie yell “Erica”, she looked up.  She immediately knew she had made a mistake. She was drawn to Callie.

 
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.
I've been running round in circles in my mind.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,
Cause you take me to the places,
That alone I'd never find.

And then Callie had kissed her. Callie who never showed any interest in her, had kissed her.  At first she was shocked about that, but it only lasted for a second. Then she took Callie’s head in her hands and starting kissing her back. She didn’t care they were kissing in full view of the entrance of the hospital. She only cared about Callie’s lips, who felt so soft…

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

She looked over at Callie who was laying beside her in bed.  After the kiss in the parking lot, they had come to Erica’s place.  Both knew it was futile to fight whatever it is that they were feeling. It felt too good to ignore it.  Talking would be done later.

 Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

“No more fighting this”, Erica concluded and she gave Callie a kiss good morning.

 

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ellipsisoveruse
Jul. 18th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, I loved this! You have captured the emotion really well - which is especially impressive in such small glimpses. And congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
nienna_lilith
Jun. 4th, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
I like the way you put together the scenes from the tv show and the scenes made by yourself, and the way you put together your own lines and the lines from the song, everything perfectly mixed!
sapphicwarrior
Jun. 4th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
thank you so much for that nice comment :), this is one of my favorite fics I wrote
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )