Sapphic (sapphicwarrior) wrote,

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And then... sadness (1/1)

TITLE: And then… sadness (1/1)

AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior

PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course


DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

SUMMARY: Callie wants them to come out at the hospital, but Erica suddenly freaks out.

AUTHOR’S NOTE 1: In this story “Rise Up” didn’t happen. Erica and Callie never had that fight and both are still working at Seattle Grace.

AUTHOR’S NOTE 2: I’m back in school this month for work but it’s so boring, so my mind just drifts to Callie and Erica all the time. So I wrote this during some boring class.

AUTHOR’S NOTE 3: Lots of thanks and hugs tosuperfy_me  for being an awesome beta :-)!!!

A female doctor with blonde curly hair confidently walked the hallways of Seattle Grace Hospital.  She was looking straight ahead like she had a goal in her mind she had to reach.  When you’d see this surgeon you’d think she was the most confident woman ever. She had an unapproachable air and rarely smiled at work.  When she was in the OR her presence alone commanded attention. A command from her was immediately executed.


The confidence you saw in Dr. Erica Hahn, Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery was a big contrast to the lack of confidence Erica had.  No one could see this though as years of training had taught her to hide her true feelings.


Erica wasn’t as confident as Dr. Erica Hahn. No Erica was very insecure regarding her personal life. No one knew anything about her. No one could see that today she was breaking inside. No one could see that she was falling into pieces. No one would understand that the IceQueen was actually feeling something.  No one but one Orthopaedic resident.  That same Orthopaedic resident that was now causing her distress.


Dr. Callie Torres. Erica felt a pang of hurt when she thought of Callie.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to stop the tears from falling. It wouldn’t do if her colleagues saw her cry.


She and Callie had been dating for a while now, seven months, two weeks and 3 days to be exact.  While at the beginning she had been the confident one and Callie was freaking out, the situation had reversed itself. Callie was now completely comfortable with her relationship with Erica and she wanted to share her life with Erica. Erica felt the same about sharing her life with Callie, but when Callie had asked her to live together and look for a place of their own, she had freaked out.  Living together would mean they’d have to tell people and she suddenly didn’t find herself ready for that.  Even though she had come out as extremely gay to Callie, telling her colleagues was an entirely different thing.


Callie didn’t understand her reluctance to tell other people and figured that Erica was ashamed to be with her.  This morning before coming into work they had a huge fight that had ended with Callie saying that she couldn’t do this anymore if no one could know about them.  And then she had left Erica’s apartment.


At work they had been avoiding all contact and a as a result Erica had retreated to her office to eat lunch. Instead of eating, all she did during her lunch was crying the tears she had been holding all morning.  She didn’t understand why she was afraid to come out at the hospital.  It wasn’t because she was ashamed of Callie. No, she wanted to shout it from the roof that Callie was taken and that she was hers.  But somehow she couldn’t and now this could mean the end of her relationship with Callie.  Problem was that besides Callie she had no one to talk to. Callie was not only her lover, but also her best friend, her ONLY friend.


A knock on her door startled her out of her reverie.  She quickly dried the tears but she couldn’t hide that she had been crying for the last 30 minutes.


“Come in”, she barked. She really didn’t feel like talking to anyone.


Mark Sloan entered her office.  She glared at him in annoyance.


“What do you want?” she tiredly asked.


Without getting an invitation, he sat down at her desk.


“Are you okay?” he asked.  He had noticed this morning that Erica was looking awful and when he saw Callie with puffy red eyes, he had put two and two together. From Callie he had found out that  Erica didn’t want to live together with her because she didn’t want to come out.


Erica thought for a second about lying to Mark, but she knew that he knew about them so maybe she could ask him what to do. Even if she really hated asking him for advice. But desperate times needed desperate measures.


“Do I look okay?”


“No you don’t.  You look like crap. So does Callie by the way”, he said.


“I love her, you know that, right?”


Mark nodded.


“I don’t know why I suddenly freaked out, Mark”, she sighed, feeling tears coming up again.  She fought them back as she didn’t want Sloan to see her cry, to see her weak. “Callie wants us to buy a place of our own and move in together.”


“Do you want that?” Mark asked.


“More then anything”, Erica immediately asked without hesitating.


“Then what’s the problem?” Mark questioned.


“I don’t know why but somehow I’m freaking out that people would know about us.”


“Would that be so bad? Are you ashamed of Callie?”


“NO”, Erica shouted, “I’m not ashamed of Callie.  Maybe I’m afraid that people will talk behind my back about it or that it will affect my professional integrity or…”


“Stop it Erica”, Mark interrupted, “Firstly, they already talk behind your back, so you can’t use that excuse. Secondly, I know about you and Callie and I don’t question your professional integrity as you call it.”


“They already talk about us?” Erica worriedly asked.


“What do you expect? You spend every free moment together. Half the time you arrive together at work. You two are attached at the hip. If we see you, we see Callie. So of course people talk. But guess what? No one cares that you two are together and that you like women. No one.”


Erica was silent for a while.  She was thinking about what Mark had said. He was right.


“I messed up big time, didn’t I?”


He nodded.


“Does she still want to talk to me?”


“She’s in the on-call room on the third floor, probably crying her eyes out”, he said.


Erica got up. “I have to go.”


Just before leaving her office, she turned around. “Thank you Mark.”


“Anything for my two favourite ladies”, he grinned.


Erica quickly went to the on-call room.  She didn’t care that people might see her tear stricken face.  Just before knocking she stopped.  She had no idea what to say to Callie.  She took a deep breath and knocked.


“Who is it?” she heard being yelled?


“Erica, can I come in?” she hesitantly said.


She heard no answer and her heart sank to the floor. But suddenly the door opened.  Mark hadn’t been lying when he said that Callie would probably be crying her eyes out.  She looked like hell.


“Can I come in?” Erica shyly asked.


Callie simply nodded.  They sat next to each other on the bed.


“I’m sorry Callie”, Erica whispered. She was nervously fidgeting with her hands and looking at the floor.


Suddenly she felt a pair of hands around her own. She looked up.


“I’m sorry too Erica. I overreacted a bit.”


Erica shook her head. “No, you didn’t overreact. I do want us to live with you, buy our own house, have a life together with you.  I’m not ashamed that I love you Callie.  Sorry if I gave you that impression.”


They looked each other in the eye.


“It’s just that I love you Erica and I want us to be like any other couple.  I want to hold your hand when we go out, I want to hug you when I feel like et and not wait till we get home. I want everyone to know that the cardio goddess is taken and that she’s mine.”


Erica couldn’t hold her tears any longer and started crying.  Soon she felt two strong arms around her and she smelt the unique scent that was Callie.  They both cried for what they had almost lost.


“I love you too Callie.”


The next morning a blond haired Cardiothoracic attending and a brown haired Orthopaedic resident walked in the hospital hand in hand, both feeling confident. No one commented on it. At the end of the day Chief Weber came to see them.


“Ladies, anything you need to tell me?”


Erica nodded. “Yes Richard, I’d like to update my date and tell sheet. You can fill Callie’s name in the blank space next to partner.”


And while she told Richard that Callie was her partner, she felt a huge weight being lifted from her shoulders and she smiled happily to Callie.

Tags: callie/erica, fanfiction

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