Sapphic (sapphicwarrior) wrote,

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A new day - sequel to One last time

TITLE: A new day – Sequel to One last time

AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior

PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course, who else?

DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

SUMMARY: Callie’s thoughts after One last time. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The lyrics at the end are from Celine Dion “A new day has come”.  Thought they were fitting to the end of the story.

When I heard the scream after you had walked away from me, I knew that it was you. I ran as fast as I could to the source of the scream.  What I found there, stopped my heart.  You were laying on the street, your legs in an unnatural position and there was blood everywhere.  I run to you, kneel beside you and take your face in my hands.  It’s covered in blood and you have a fear in your eyes that I will never forget. 


I can see that you are fighting against the urge to slip into unconsciousness.  Your eyes seek mine and I hear you croaking out that you are sorry.  I say that you have nothing to be sorry about and that you will be okay. But even as I’m saying those words I realize that I don’t know if you’ll be okay.  It suddenly strucks me that you might die.  I yell to the paramedics that they have to hurry or that I’ll break every bone in their body.  I know I mean it when I say it.


I see Bailey and the Chief arriving.  When they see it’s you laying on the street, they are shocked.  Then the Chief starts giving orders to everyone and I know he’ll do everything in his power to save you.  They put you on the gurney and into the ambulance. 


I don’t leave your side.  I hold your hand while the paramedics work on you on the short drive to the hospital.  When we get to the hospital, I am not allowed into the trauma room. The Chief says I’m too involved and almost has to drag me out of the trauma room but when I say that I will be the one operating on your legs, he says that’s fine.


I go and sit in the waiting room.  Countless times I had accompanied the Chief or someone else to tell the family that their loved one had died.  As I sit here in this room, I’m praying that I won’t get to receive the same news.  I know they will take excellent care of you, I know that they will not stop till they are sure they have tried everything to save you.


They have to save you, there is still so much I want to tell you.  I still have to tell you that I’m sorry for running out on you when you declared to me you are gay.  I’m so sorry for that.  You needed a friend at that moment and I abandoned you.  I still see the pain etched on your face as I ran out of your bedroom.


I still have to tell you that I’m so sorry for sleeping with Mark, so sorry for doubting my feelings for you.  Sex with Mark was just that, sex, no feelings involved. With you it was so much more, so much more intense and intimate.


I still have to tell you that you were right when you said that I can’t be kind of a lesbian. Because I can’t be kind of a lesbian when the thought of you dying makes my heart break into pieces that can never be put back together again.  I can’t be kind of a lesbian when I know my life will lose it’s meaning if you die.  I can’t be kind of a lesbian when I know you are the only one I ever want to kiss again, the only one I want to give my heart to.


I feel tears whelming up in my eyes and I don’t fight them.  I don’t care that everyone sees how broken I am, I don’t care that everyone starts making assumptions, I don’t care about anything anymore, I only care about you.


I let my mind drift back.  I remember how gorgeous you looked on our first date. That dress haunted me in my dreams for days.  When I started rambling about some motherland and a safe word, you just looked at me, handed me your wine and smiled.  How I love your smile.  It makes your eyes twinkle. I know you only give me that smile, no one else is privy to see your happy smile. No one else is privy to see Erica.  You only let people see Dr. Hahn, but you let me see Erica.  And the more I saw of Erica, the more I fell for you, without even realising it.  And when I realised it, it was too late.  I was head over heels with you. 


The first time we made love was awkward for me, hell, for both of us.  I was so afraid to disappoint you, so afraid to do something wrong.  But even with all that fear I loved it and that scared me.  It scared me because I knew if those doubts were gone, I’d like it even more.  And I had always like penis.  It confused the hell out of me.


So I went back to penis. Even if I knew I’d hurt you, I did it anyway.  You gave me your heart and I treated it without care.  The thought that I might never get the chance to apologize to you makes me cry even harder.  You might never know that I love you.  I realise that now, I love you.  I love you with all that I am, all that I feel, all that I breath.  If you die I know I’ll never open up my heart to anyone else again. Simply because it will not be possible. My heart will be with you, inside your coffin. It belongs to you, it has always belonged to you and it will always belong to you.


I have no idea what your injuries are, so I don’t know what the chance is that you’ll survive.  But as a doctor I know that blood coming from the nose isn’t a good sign, even if my specialty is bones.  As a doctor I know the chance you’ll survive might be minimal, but as long as there’s a chance I have hope. And I need that hope right now not to go crazy.


I glance at the clock and I see that three hours have passed since they brought you in.  Suddenly I hear the door open and fear grips my heart.  I don’t even dare to look up, I don’t want to see their faces, I don’t want to hear them say that Erica has died.


“Callie”, I hear Richard say.


I don’t want to look up, I don’t want to see his sad face.  He calls me again.


“Callie, we did everything we could…”


I get up and I scream in agony  “NOOOOOOOO…”


Richard grabs me and says: “Callie we did everything we could but she’s in a coma.  The car hit caused her to fall on her head.  We don’t know when she’ll get out of it, if she’ll get out it at all. Or in what state she’ll be if she gets out of it.  She has severe brain trauma.”


I completely break down and I sob on Richards shoulder.  I don’t know if I should feel happy or sad.  I ask him if I can see her.  He nods.


I go into her room. She looks so pale.  She has tubes everywhere. If it weren’t for the fact that I know she’s alive, I’d think she’s dead. But the machines tell me she’s breathing.  I take her hand in mine and I sit next to her.  At that moment, I decide to sit next to her till she wakes up.  I want her to be the first face she’ll see when she wakes up.  I have to believe she’ll wake up.


Weeks pass by without any change in Erica’s condition.  Each day I sit with her. And I talk to her. I talk about my childhood and my fears.  I talk about how much I love her.  I read her medical journals. I tell her the latest Seattle Grace gossip. Each day I hope she’ll hear me and each day I’ll hope she’ll fight to come back to me.


Seven weeks after the accident her hand moved.  I could feel her squeeze my hand slightly.

Seven weeks and one day after the accident, she squeezed my hand if I asked her if she could hear me.

Seven weeks and two days after the accident I finally saw her baby blue eyes again.

Seven weeks and three days after the accident she softly says my name and I know then that my Erica has come back to me. 



I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on, and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you

Hush, now
I see a light in the sky, (oh),
It's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love

Tags: callie/erica, fanfiction
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