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The Last Goodbye - sequel to Losing Love

TITLE: The last goodbye

PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course, who else?

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Grey’s Anatomy belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes (unfortunately).  No copyright infringement intended.

The song “The last goodbye” belongs to Lara Fabian.

SUMMARY: this is from Erica’s POV and takes place after the fic Losing Love. So you could say this is some sort of sequel.  You might want to read that one first to better understand this one.

Link to Losing Love:  sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/8254.html#cutid1

Erica was glad she had finished her shift on time.  Callie had texted her during the day that they had to talk and asked her if she could come over after her shift.  Erica agreed, so now she was on her way to her car to go to Callie’s place.  She had a bad feeling about it.  She knew that they were going at different speeds and that hers was way faster then Callie’s.  She knew Callie was freaking out big time and she didn’t like it. She didn’t mind the freaking out, she could deal with that. But she couldn’t deal with the fact that Callie didn’t talk to her about it. She knew that she did talk to Sloan about it.  At least she hoped it was all they did, talking.  She didn’t know what she would do if Callie told her she had been having sex again with Sloan.

 

Erica got in her car and drove over to Callie’s.  She put on the radio.  Of course there had to be break-up songs on every channel. 

“Maybe it’s a sign”, she thought out loud.

She kept switching channels till she found something less depressing, but to no avail.  All the songs she heard were about break-ups and heart ache.  She knew she was falling hard for Callie, maybe too hard. She hadn’t opened up to anyone in years. Hell, she had never felt so connected to someone.  She didn’t wanna lose Callie, but she was afraid she had already lost her.  Falling in love with Callie had made her realise one thing though, and that was that she definitely wasn’t straight.  If she compared her feelings for Callie with the feelings she ever had for men, well, the latter ones just paled in comparison to what she feels for Callie.

 

She still remembered the first time she ran into Callie at Seattle Grace. She was mesmerised by her beauty and she felt drawn to her.  When she realised she was falling for Callie, it was already too late to try and undo it.  Callie was everywhere.  She was in her thoughts every second, she was in her dreams every night, she was in her fantasies, but most of all, Callie was in her heart.

 

Suddenly she noticed that she had arrived at Callie’s. She parked her car and got out of the car.  Fear and nerves gripped her heart, but she was determined to talk to Callie tonight, she wanted to get all Callie’s fears out of her.  She wanted to know if they still had a chance or if she’d have to close her heart again.

 

She knocked on the door.  After what seemed like eternity Callie opened the door.  She took in the sight before her.  Callie was wearing nothing but a black boy short and a pink tank top.

“Oh my god, if she wants to talk in that attire, my mind will totally drift elsewhere”, Erica thought.

She noticed that her eyes were red, and swollen and that she looked scared and desperate.   She felt the same fear and despair rise in her.  She took a deep breath.

“Hey Cal, you okay?  You don’t look good.”

“Come in Erica, we need to talk”, Callie said in a fearful voice.

 

They both sat on the sofa, each on another end. Erica didn’t trust her hands to be close to Callie in the clothes she was wearing, or more the lack of clothes.  She saw that Callie was fidgeting with her hands and was doing anything to avoid looking at her.  Erica thought she looked … well, guilty over something, and then it suddenly struck her what Callie wanted to talk about.

 

“You slept with him, right?” she tried to say in a cold voice, but she failed miserably.

Her voice was almost cracking up from emotion, just realizing the truth.

 

“yes…”, she heard Callie whisper.

 

She didn’t know what to say, she had lost all ability to talk or think.  She felt her heart shatter in a million pieces. She had to keep focused to try and keep breathing.  She felt tears whelming up and she didn’t fight them.  She didn’t care that she would break down in front of Callie.  At least Callie would know then that she had succeeded in breaking her, in breaking the IceQueen.  She felt the tears falling down.  She kept focusing on her breathing and she still hadn’t said anything.  She heard her name being called.

 

“Erica, please say something.”

 

She looked up at Callie and saw that she was crying too.

“What do you want me to say, Callie? I told you I don’t make friends easily.  Well, I don’t open up my heart to someone easily either. But I opened up to you, I let you see all of me.  I hoped you would treat it with respect, but you didn’t, Callie. So what do you want me to say?”

Callie was sobbing now. It broke her heart to see her sitting there alone, but she couldn’t go over to comfort her.

“I’m sorry, Erica, but I was freaking out…”

“No, don’t go say you’re sorry because you were freaking out.  I’m freaking out too Cal but I don’t go and sleep with men to try to figure things out.  I talk about it.  Do you think I wouldn’t understand it if you told me you’re freaking out? I understand you are freaking out Callie, but I don’t understand why you have to go and sleep with Sloan”, Erica said in an angry voice.

 

“I know I was wrong, Erica and I’m sorry, so sorry. I’ll understand if you’ll never want to have anything to do with me anymore. I just wanted you to know that having sex with Mark was wrong, because that’s all it is, sex. With you it’s so much more and that scares me. I’m falling for you Erica but I’m so afraid to fall.  I’m so confused.  I do want to be with you, I do.  I know I made mistakes but …”, Callie cried.

 

“If you’re falling, all you have to do is ask me, and I’ll catch you”, Erica interrupted.

 

That made Callie cry even more and Erica was wondering what she had done wrong.  She couldn’t take in the sight of a crying Callie any longer, it broke her heart even more and if they wanted to take a chance at this, they had to talk, even though it would hurt them both a lot. So she rushed over to the other side of the sofa and took Callie in her arms.  They both cried over what had happened and they both found comfort in each other’s arms.  After a while the crying stopped and they just lay in each other’s arms.

 

A song was playing on the radio while they were cuddling.

 

We can run away together
If that's what you want
We can hide away forever
If that's what you want
So just close the door
Let nobody else in our head
Close the door
We can lay right here
In our bed

 

“You hurt me a lot by running of to Mark, Callie.  I understand you are freaking out, but didn’t we say we’d be scared together?” Erica asked while stroking Callie’s hair.

 

“I’m sorry I ran to Mark while I should have been running to you. Can you forgive me?” Callie almost whispered.

 

“Yes I forgive you Callie, on one condition: if you want to freak out again, you come to me.  I am here for you, always.”

 

Callie didn’t say anything, she just reached up and gave Erica a kiss on the lips.

 

Cos anything else
Is wasting time
You're all that I've wanted
Out of my life
Just let me grow old
here by your side
Until the end of time
Till the last goodbye

 

Let's just live here in the moment
Sharing something real
Let's not spend these hours talking
Just give me something I can feel
Oh come
Close to me
Let no ray of light in between
Close to me
We don't know
Where I end and you begin

 

 

“You know this song is actually very fitting”, Erica said.

“I’ve been noticing that too”, Callie smiled.

 

Let's shut the world out
See a chance and let's take it
Seize on the moment
And baby let's make it out
And we'll work it out somehow
How to live in here and now

 

“Lets work it out somehow how to live in here and now, Callie.  It’ll work out. Love always works out,” Erica said and she kissed Callie deeply.



Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
lizadizzle
Dec. 6th, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC)
d'awwww! *squishes them* what a freakin' awesome way to go to bed yo :D fanx for that!
gt22
Dec. 6th, 2008 02:27 pm (UTC)
Awwww ... love it!! :) Tis great!!
lovemefortrueme
Dec. 6th, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwee! Loved it! :D

This paragraph:
"She knew she was falling hard for Callie, maybe too hard. She hadn’t opened up to anyone in years. Hell, she had never felt so connected to someone. She didn’t wanna lose Callie, but she was afraid she had already lost her. Falling in love with Callie had made her realise one thing though, and that was that she definitely wasn’t straight. If she compared her feelings for Callie with the feelings she ever had for men, well, the latter ones just paled in comparison to what she feels for Callie."

I.. don't know why, but I absolutely adore it. I think you definitely captured Erica's feelings well :) Great writing!
sapphicwarrior
Dec. 6th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
thank you so much. I really like writing Erica. I can relate to her so well.
punky_96
Dec. 6th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
this was great. i couldn't talk either if callie opened the door wearing that. i can't wait for more from you as always! thanks!
sapphicwarrior
Dec. 6th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
I'd probably jump her first and talk later... :)
elatxc
Dec. 8th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
That was a great continuation thanks it was very sweet.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )