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Leave the light on (1/1)

TITLE: Leave the light on

PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course, who else?


DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the characters of Grey’s Anatomy, but ABC and Shonda Rhimes do.  No copyright infringement intended.  I don’t make money with this.  I also don’t own the song and the lyrics of the song Leave the light on, sang by Sara Ramirez.

SUMMARY: Callie writes a song.

NOTE: I’ve been listening for days to the song “Leave the light on “by Sara Ramirez.  Totally in love with that song and I just had to do a fic around it.  Hope you’ll like it!


Callie was sitting on her bed in her bedroom.  Ever since Erica had left Seattle, had left her, she had hardly left this room.  That was now one week ago.  She refused to see anyone or talk to anyone. She ate in her room. She only left it when Cristina was at the hospital.  Mark tried to call her and be a friend to her, but she simply couldn’t see him right now. He reminded her of how much she had screwed up by having sex with him while she was dating Erica. So she just said she didn’t wanna see him and she didn’t wanna talk.  She knew that when Erica had left her standing there outside the hospital, that she wouldn’t see her back.  She had hurt Erica one time too much by defending Stevens and by not backing her girlfriend up.

“How could I ever have defended that blonde bimbo”, Callie sighed to herself.


So when she found out the next day that all of Erica’s surgeries had been cancelled, she had gone to the Chief and told him she’d take some time off.  When he asked for a reason, she simply said: “I need time to figure some things out”. And she left his office.


Callie took the pillow lying next to her and brought it to her nose. It still smelled like Erica. She closed her eyes and felt tears whelming up.  Never again would she wake up with Erica lying next to her, never again would she see those piercing blue eyes, never again would she see that special “Callie smile” as she called it, never again would she feel Erica’s soft lips on her, never again…

“Stop it, stop it”, she yelled to no one and threw the pillow away.  Callie realised she couldn’t go on like this, she had to do something to cope with the loss of Erica.  And suddenly it hit her. She remembered something that she did when she was younger when she was upset.  When she was just a teenager and later in med school, she wrote songs to help her cope with feelings.  She hadn’t written a song in years, but she got out a pen and paper and started writing.


Who was I before I met you

Before I had you in my heart


For the rest of the day Callie continued writing.  In the evening she called the Chief to let him know she’d be back to work tomorrow.


The following days, each day progressed in the same way. She got up, went to work and when she finished her shift, she locked herself up in her room and wrote.  At work she still didn’t talk to anyone, unless it was work related.  She ate her lunch alone in an on-call room, because the cafeteria reminded her too much of Erica. When she was there, she kept glancing at their usual table and each time she had to run to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. So after a while she just gave up eating there.  When Cristina or Mark asked her to come to Joe’s, she refused.  It reminded her of all the evenings she had spent their with Erica, talking over a glass of wine and enjoying each other’s company.


After a couple of weeks she had finished the song.  The morning after she went to the Chief.

“Chief, are you still trying to raise money for that clinic that will help people who don’t have money for transplants but need it anyway?” Callie asked.

The Chief looked up from his papers and looked at Callie.  He noticed she had lost weight and she looked tired.

“Yes I am.  Why, Dr. Torres?”

“Well, I have something to contribute for it.  You see… well…”, Callie hesitated. Suddenly her idea seemed foolish and childish.


The Chief put down his papers and went to sit next to Callie.  He had always had a soft spot for her.  And he knew that the leaving of Erica had deeply hurt Callie.

“Are you okay, Callie?” he asked.

Callie simply nodded.

“You see, I wrote this song and I send it to all the hospitals with a well known transplant program.  I thought that if people were to actually buy the song, I could donate the money to that clinic.  I don’t know if many people will buy it, but…”, Callie finished.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Callie.  I had no idea you wrote songs.  You sang it yourself too?”

Callie nodded and handed Richard a copy of the cd.  He looked at it. 

“McOrtho, Callie? What’s the song about?”

“A lost love”, Callie simply said.

Richard put the cd in his stereo and Callie’s voice filled his office.


Where was I when you weren’t by my side

Lonely and lost in the dark

Now it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever know

Learning to let you go…


Callie felt a rise go to her cheeks while hearing her own voice.  

“Callie this is absolutely beautiful.  You could persue a career in singing, you know.  Would you be willing to perform at the fund raising in four weeks?”

“Yes, on one condition. Until that moment no one, but absolutely no one can know it’s me who’s singing this. Not a word to anyone, Richard.  If it gets out, I’m not singing.”

“You got my word, Callie.  This is really a wonderful idea.”



After two weeks, every hospital was crazy about McOrtho.  Callie had distributed the song to all the hospitals with a well known transplant program and had asked them to donate money for the clinic.  Half the OR’s played her song when operating.  In Seattle Grace, the moment Mark had heard the song, he had known it was Callie who sang it.  It broke his heart knowing she felt this way.  But he didn’t approach her about it, or told anyone about it.  He knew that if she had wanted everyone to know it was her singing, she would have used her real name.  So he kept quiet and observed Callie from far.


In the meantime a certain hospital in Los Angeles played the song in its OR while a certain Cardiothoracic surgeon was operating.


And I think you every day for all you gave to me, for saving me

For the strength to carry on

And when I close my eyes I feel you close to me

Still holding me, even though you are gone

And every night, I leave the light on…


The cardiothoracic surgeon dropped her scalpel and felt tears whelming up. 

“Callie”, she whispered.

“You okay, Dr. Hahn”, a resident asked.

“Give me a new scalpel, and I wanna know who sings that song”, she barked to the resident.

“It’s McOrtho, Dr. Hahn.  It’s the new sensation in all the hospitals.”


“Yes, Dr. Hahn.  It’s a unknown doctor who recorded this song for a clinic that will help people who don’t have money to get a transplant.  No one knows who she is. But we are all going to the benefit in two weeks.  She’ll be performing at the fund raising in Seattle.”


That’s all Erica needed to know. She continued listening to the song during her surgery and even though it broke her heart, it also gave her the courage to book a flight to Seattle.


The evening of the fund raising approached and Callie got really nervous.  She suddenly regretted having agreed to performing.  She didn’t want everyone to know that she was McOrtho, but she realised that she could raise a lot of money.  Everyone was listening to McOrtho in the OR. Callie was the only one refusing to listen to it.  So far no one had figured out it was her, though she suspected Mark knew as he refused to listen to the song as well.  She looked at herself in the mirror.  She wore a red strapless dress that hugged her in all the right places.  She noticed that she had lost some weight and that her eyes looked sad.  She wore the necklace that she had worn on her first day with Erica.  She touched it with her fingers and replayed the date in her mind.  She closed her eyes. She could still feel Erica’s longing gaze and the way her stomach did flip flops when she gave her that special Callie smile. 


Richard had kept his word and he hadn’t told anyone about the identity of McOrtho.


Callie looked at the public. She hadn’t expected to see so many people.  The song had already raised a lot of money and people had come especially to see her singing.  She looked in the crowd.  Disappointment went through her when she didn’t spot the blonde curls she was longing so much to see.  She had hoped that Erica would have heard her song.  But nevertheless it made her feel good that thanks to her a lot of money would be raised for that clinic.


“Please, get your hands together for the new sensation of music in the OR. Here’s McOrtho”, Callie heard Richard announce.


She knew that this was her cue to go on stage. She took a deep breath and went on stage.

She saw that all her Seattle colleagues were staring at her with their mouth open.  Apparently no one had recognized her voice.  She grabbed the microphone.


“Thank you.  I’m Dr. Callie Torres.  I’m an orthopaedic surgeon at Seattle Grace”, Callie started, “ I wrote this song for a special someone. Someone I never told how much I loved her…”


In the back of the room, a cardio attending with blonde curls lost all ability to think when she saw Callie on stage and heard Callie speak.  Suddenly it struck her that Callie had just outed herself to the entire room.  Slowly she went to the stage.


Who was I before I met you

Before I had you in my heart

Where was I when you weren’t by my side

Lonely and lost in the dark

Now it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever know

Learning to let you go…


And I thank you every day for all you gave to me, for saving me

For the strength to carry on

And when I close my eyes I feel you close to me

Still holding me, even though you’re gone

And every night, I leave the light on…


Days go by, I’m here without you

I’m  missing all the things we shared

But I won’t cry, I will not worry about you

In my heart you’ll always be there

Can you hear these simple words I say

A million miles away


And I thank you every day for all you gave to me, for saving me

For the strength to carry on

And when I close my eyes I feel you close to me

Still holding me, even though you are gone

And every night, I leave the light on…


Just to remind me

I leave the light on

I dream you’ll find me once again

To lead you home where I am waiting



At that moment brown eyes found blue eyes and time stood still for both of them.  Callie didn’t care anymore that people would see her cry and she let the tears flow freely while she continued to sing.


And I thank you every day for all you gave to me, for saving me

For the strength to carry on

And when I close my eyes I feel you close to me

Still holding me, even though you are gone

And every night, I leave the light on…

And every night, I leave the light on…


The crowd went crazy.  The only ones who weren’t sheering, were the doctors of Seattle Grace. When Callie had professed her love to a female, they all knew she meant Dr. Hahn, and they were now watching as Erica approached the stage. But Callie didn’t see all of this, she only noticed one face, one tear strained face.  Erica stopped right before reaching the stage and looked up at Callie, their eyes meeting again and she opened her arms and Callie jumped off the stage, right into Erica’s safe hands.


“I love you, Erica.”

“I love you too, Callie.”

And then they kissed and the doctors of Seattle Grace went crazy too.

Type your cut contents here.


( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
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Nov. 17th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
aww!! I'm so glad someone finally wrote a fic with that song. It is truly beautiful and perfect for them.

I loved this fic!! :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! I'm totally obsessed with this song and I just had write something about it. The lyrics fit them so well.
Nov. 17th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
oh that was lovely that just made me smile at the end there. That is such an apt song :) Thanks
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
glad it made you smile :)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Dec. 1st, 2008 02:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sapphicwarrior - Dec. 1st, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)
This... that was cute !!!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
thank you so much :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
Awwww, awwwww. I was listening to the song while reading this. So glad you wrote this fic, thank you.
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:21 pm (UTC)
thank you for reading it. Glad you liked it :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
awww, sweet!! love how you mixed reality and fiction, with Callie singing the soing. great story!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
It is Sara's song, so Callie just had to sing it. Thanks for reading :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
Happy ending for them! Makes my heart happier today. Thank you!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Yay!!
Thank you. I really like happy endings. Probably b/c they did just a crappy job on ABC.
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
That was so beautiful! I always love reading stories where Callie sings to her Erica.

Very heartfelt... it definitely brought a tear to my eye

Nov. 17th, 2008 06:25 pm (UTC)
hope it was a happy tear. They should have let Callie sing on the show, a love song to Erica, or a serenade or something. That would have been awesome to see! Glad you liked it.
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
Aww, that was so so cute!
I love this song and ,of course, your fic too.
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
thank you so much :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
Speechless....just WOW!!!!!!!!! I really can see them in front of me!!!!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
so glad you liked it :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
Nice! Happy ending are a must now I think! :) Great fic hun - thanks for sharing!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
I live for the happy endings right now :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC)
Great concept and well done. So sweet!
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
thank you so much :)
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:09 pm (UTC)
that was just WOW!!!! love it love it love it!!!!
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
thank you so much :)!
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
Okay, I need a tissue now...happy tears of course! That was lovely! I'm a big fan of the song too...I'm glad you wrote a fic about it!
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
thank you so much. After listening to the song for days, I just had to write something about it.
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
Yes this should totally happen on the show!

And then run off into the sunset with the unicorns, a whole bunch of forest animals(for Callie) and a bunch of flowers. =D
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
would be great if Callie sang on the show... but only for Erica of course :)
(no subject) - kagariyuraashua - Nov. 17th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sapphicwarrior - Nov. 17th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
It was....... SO AMAZING, so beautiful,so lovely and it touch my heart so much.. i totally love this fan fiction. i love your style of writing, this is SO wonderful. i have no more words to say, because ff was... 1*

Nov. 17th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Amazing
Thank you so much :) :). I'm really glad you loved the story :).
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( 46 comments — Leave a comment )