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what a week I had...

I so never wanna relive all the emotions that went through me this last week. The 1st week of November is already an awfully emotional week for me and then on top of that, we got the news of Brooke Smith's firing.

Wednesday November 5th it was 6 years ago that my dearest Granny died. I still haven't coped with her death, so each year, the days before I'm super emotional. 
Last year I didn't consciously live that week, as I was in a drug induced coma from Oct 29th till Nov 5th as a result of a nearly fatal car accident.  So had to cope with that too this year.
And then Tuesday Nov 4th I found out about Brooke's firing...

One hell of a week! I've been angry, sad, depressed, numb... I felt so many emotions last week.  It was hard coping with them.  But I managed. Thanks to the great erica_callie community, I managed.  I wasn't the only one feeling angry and depressed about the news of Brooke.  I wasn't the only one feeling completely devastated.  I thought I was overreacing when I just heard the news, but then I started reading all the posts and we all felt the same.  So we understood how we felt. We supported each other.
I identified myself a bit with the character of Erica Hahn as I found much things we had in common. Sometimes it was like looking at me when I looked at the show.  Maybe that's a reason why I felt so devastated and lost after the news.  Like part of me was being killed or something.

Don't know how many mails I've already sent to ABC.  Do you think they have a reason to limit their mails to 500 characters? I think they do, 500 characters is not a lot when you want to complain.  They'll definately know my name now :-).

It feels good that so many actions are being taken.  Even though we won't be able to bring Brooke back on the show (don't think she'll come back after the way she has been treated), it still feels good to support her.  She's a wonderful actress and she didn't deserve such a  treatment at all.  No one deserves such a treatment.

As a lesbian I feel like I'm not good enough to watch their show as apparently we are not even worthy of some screen time.  So I won't watch ABC anymore.  That won't be a problem for me as Grey's Anatomy was the only show I was watching on television.  I'm not much of a television watcher.  Forbid my wife to watch Lost and Extreme Makeover any longer.  Those are the only shows from ABC we have here in Belgium.

I'm glad the Callica will continue to live in the erica_callie community and on other forums.  At least we'll treat them with the respect and the dignity they deserve.
I still haven't watched the last episode.  I will, but later.  I will watch it for Brooke Smith.  I only saw the last scene of Callie and Erica. And frankly that didn't give me an urge to watch the rest of the episode.  That last scene was so out of character for both of them. And even the acting wasn't as usual.
I don't care if Erica dies next week.  Well, I do care, but I mean that for me it doesn't make much difference. She's gone and she's not coming back.  Whether she's dead or alive, she's gone, Callica is gone.  But seeing Callie's devastated face in the spoiler... I think she's dead.  Even Mark looks defeated... Or maybe he looks defeated b/c he realized that he ruined Callie's chance with Erica by sleeping with her.  He should have told Callie "no, I'm not sleeping with you, you're with Erica."  but if ABC had done that, they'd be showing some respect to the GLBT community and we are sure now that they have absolutely no respect for us.

Even if they took Callie and Erica away from us, we still have the few episodes with them to cherish and we have LJ to keep them alive, so all is not lost.  They will always live in my heart.

And now I'll try to write some happy ending fic about Callie and Erica, b/c I think we deserve that after this hell week!